For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
As I Ponder
As I am watching all the Hong Kong and Korean series, seeing them progress and advance in the show as the episode picks up, I cant help but wonder, what am I doing with my own life?
Let me break it down, for the past couple of years, I seems to have allow myself to get wasted. How? For starters, after working hours, I spend all my time devoted to just eating, sitting in front of the tv and just laze away. It has been years since I last went out shopping or doing stuffs alone. Its been years (!) since I last gym eventhough I have a life time gym membership. Granted that I swim, on extreme rare occassions and limited to less than 5 laps around the pool with lots of resting between each lap, coffee intake has increased, so has food and ciggie. The condo is in a mess, laundry is diligently carried out, so is the weekly bedding changing, however everything else seems to have lapsed. I hardly mop the floor, or sweep my room (its parquet, I cant exactly use liquid to wash it, dressing table is in a mess, magazines are everywhere in the bedroom, dust are magically accumulated eventhough I do not open the windows or room door much!, the area next to the entrance is in a mess, dust and dirt are inches thick, living room is in a mess with stuffs left everywhere, cant recall the last time i cleaned the kitchen tabletop.
Sigh, I am just getting lazier than ever! Could it be that I am not getting any younger? That I should be officially debt free by the time I am 43? and by debt free I meant the car, the condo and credit cards!
Luckily I aint a very materialistic person, not that into branded goods (not that I do not ponder once in a while), or that I want all the luxuries in life. Sigh.
I remembered the time when I used to gym every evening without fail, granted that I eat loads after the gym, but body weight and everything else was in 'check' purely because of the daily gym, but since joining the new company 2 years ago, all these were forgone. I wonder why.
It is because I have given up hope on ever finding love? or the dating game? or the need to look good cos ... there is no one whom is gonna appreciate my efforts anyway.
Am just waiting for the moment or day where I will 'wake up' and do something with my life!
Motivation. Yes .. MOTIVATION. I am the type who definately needs motivation. I aint self motivated like Lawrence H. Boy I misses him.
Anyway ... its now 12 midnight, and as I watch tv while pondering ... away ... hmmm!
Let me break it down, for the past couple of years, I seems to have allow myself to get wasted. How? For starters, after working hours, I spend all my time devoted to just eating, sitting in front of the tv and just laze away. It has been years since I last went out shopping or doing stuffs alone. Its been years (!) since I last gym eventhough I have a life time gym membership. Granted that I swim, on extreme rare occassions and limited to less than 5 laps around the pool with lots of resting between each lap, coffee intake has increased, so has food and ciggie. The condo is in a mess, laundry is diligently carried out, so is the weekly bedding changing, however everything else seems to have lapsed. I hardly mop the floor, or sweep my room (its parquet, I cant exactly use liquid to wash it, dressing table is in a mess, magazines are everywhere in the bedroom, dust are magically accumulated eventhough I do not open the windows or room door much!, the area next to the entrance is in a mess, dust and dirt are inches thick, living room is in a mess with stuffs left everywhere, cant recall the last time i cleaned the kitchen tabletop.
Sigh, I am just getting lazier than ever! Could it be that I am not getting any younger? That I should be officially debt free by the time I am 43? and by debt free I meant the car, the condo and credit cards!
Luckily I aint a very materialistic person, not that into branded goods (not that I do not ponder once in a while), or that I want all the luxuries in life. Sigh.
I remembered the time when I used to gym every evening without fail, granted that I eat loads after the gym, but body weight and everything else was in 'check' purely because of the daily gym, but since joining the new company 2 years ago, all these were forgone. I wonder why.
It is because I have given up hope on ever finding love? or the dating game? or the need to look good cos ... there is no one whom is gonna appreciate my efforts anyway.
Am just waiting for the moment or day where I will 'wake up' and do something with my life!
Motivation. Yes .. MOTIVATION. I am the type who definately needs motivation. I aint self motivated like Lawrence H. Boy I misses him.
Anyway ... its now 12 midnight, and as I watch tv while pondering ... away ... hmmm!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
How Straight Couples Start A Fight
When I got home last night, my wife asked me to take her someplace expensive…
So I took her to a gas station.
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife stands nude in front of the mirror.She is not happy with what she sees and says, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
I replied, “Your eyesight is perfect.”
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife hints about what she wanted for her upcoming birthday:
“I want something shiny and goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds.”
I bought her a scale.
And that’s when the fight started….
I took my wife to a restaurant and the waiter took my order first.
“I’ll have the steak, medium rare.”
He asked, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her: “Not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.”
And that’s when the fight started….
I asked my wife to buy a case of beer while she’s at the supermarket for $11.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $37.95.
She said: “This cream will make me look gorgeous.”
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” in bed.
I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I asked, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me simply replied: “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started….
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said smilingly.
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
And that’s when the fight started…
Jokes copied from Sexy Tenga ... ;-)
So I took her to a gas station.
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife stands nude in front of the mirror.She is not happy with what she sees and says, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
I replied, “Your eyesight is perfect.”
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife hints about what she wanted for her upcoming birthday:
“I want something shiny and goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds.”
I bought her a scale.
And that’s when the fight started….
I took my wife to a restaurant and the waiter took my order first.
“I’ll have the steak, medium rare.”
He asked, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her: “Not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.”
And that’s when the fight started….
I asked my wife to buy a case of beer while she’s at the supermarket for $11.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $37.95.
She said: “This cream will make me look gorgeous.”
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that’s when the fight started….
My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” in bed.
I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I asked, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me simply replied: “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started….
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said smilingly.
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
And that’s when the fight started…
Jokes copied from Sexy Tenga ... ;-)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)