Saturday, November 25, 2006

Copied from a fridae link … mrmatch

This is really sweet!
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS :

1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?
ANSWER :

The husband just said "I am with you Darling".
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.
And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY

This story is really worth reading. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.


Have a nice and blessed day ....

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

A Tribute To Michael Yang


It was truly shocking news indeed, having heard of the unfortunate news from ML on 18th Sep 2006. ML informed that Michael (Mike) died in a car accident on his way from Kluang. The car tyre punctured and he lost control of the car, it flipped and he was threw out of the car from the front car windshield! Mike has died from internal bleedings.

His obituary came out on 25th Sep 2006. Looking as decent as ever, fond memories of him began to run thru my mind.

I first came to know Mike thru a chat room back in the early 2001. Back then, I was happily into a new relationship with CK. Whenever I have the time, I would call Mike on his hp to initiate a chat via MSN and vice versa. It was such a pleasure chatting with him, he was so knowledgeable and humorous too. At times when I am at CK’s place and after a HOT steaming session, I would like clockwork, buzz Mike for a chat. So there we have CK in bed, resting out of exhaustion (I was not exhausted, just pausing for CK to regain his vitality, ahem, before the next round!) and me online chatting away with Mike.

Mike was single back then, perhaps seeing a guy or two, nothing serious (so I was told) and thus he has all the time in the world, weekends especially, to be glued to the PC monitor and chatting away with me. As I was working at Sepang then, meeting up was never an option. Besides, I can’t seem to be able to get enough of CK-ness!!

Meeting Mike for the first time was such a joyful thing. He was jovial like his chat and there were never a silent moment on our first outing at a café in KLCC facing the water fountains. Mike just loves to use the word SALAH with whatever he said. For instance:

“ I saw a cute guy that day. He has this gorgeous body. His dressing however was so SALAH loh. Picture this, shiny leather pants at 1pm in the heat of Kuala Lumpur! “

or

“ There was this time I ordered a plate of wanton dumplings. I just had to eat it with tomato sauce. It’s so SALAH lah! “

When CK and I broke up, tea time drinks with Mike was more frequent in the evening, we stay pretty near to each other you see. It was also Mike who introduced me to Sex and The City!! I knew nothing about this fabulous TV series prior to this.

Soon as time and new interests came and went, so did our meet up frequency. Our last official long conversation was a BBQ gathering at ML’s condo pool for lunch during Christmas.

Yes there were the occasional Hi & Byes at Fitness First gym occasionally, however things just did not seem to be the same. He was always with his bf when at the gym, they work out together a lot, and me on my own. The last I saw him was at PJ Chow Yang, when I was heading towards the Yu Ai seafood noodle house with AS and him with his colleagues having Bak Kut Tea at the same row of shops, one fine afternoon, a few months ago.

And now . . . . . Mike Yang is GONE, F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!

May you lead a peaceful and happy after life, may you bless us all with your heavenly sights, thank you for coming into my life, most importantly, thank YOU for allowing me to be part of your life’s journey.

Michael Yang, you will be remembered always and cherished forever.

Love, CL.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Love

It’s something which you either have it or don’t. It’s occasionally something which one has, but don’t value, and something which someone yearns for, but can’t seems to find it or have lost it.

Now for those who has it, to them it’s like, OK, I have it. So WHAT?

SO WHAT??!! OMG. It’s so many things to it. For example, when one is in love, every new day brings a new meaning. Everyone you greet knows that your greeting was genuine and it SHOWS. Everyone you smiled at automatically smile back and look at you at a different friendly light. You look forward to a new day. You embrace each moment of it. When work is done, you long to go home straight. And why? Because you are in love silly. HE is there at home. You want to see him as soon as you can.

You want to say ‘HONEEEE . . . I am home!!’

Ah . . the joys of being in love. By the way, those were real life experiences of the author . . . . ME!!

Need more examples … take a look at this picture of HAPPINESS!! . . . nope, that is not my lover then. I love and still does, RICE!! ;-)



By the way, this is a old picture, taken in 2000 and pardon the hair, it was not meant to be a center parting, somehow it ended as that. Hmmm. Don’t try thinking that you can recognize me on the streets!! You won’t. You can’t. I should know better, I look nothing like this anymore. Age and gravity has taken it’s toll.

That said, a super close friend/ex colleague, confidante and loyal shoulder supporter, JC, recently broke up. Although we had a brief chat over the phone, I can feel and understood his pain. I ve been down that road before. It felt like your world is crumbling down. You dread waking up in the morning, you drag yourself thru the day. You say A-LE-LU-YAH when the day is over. In fact, your sudden sadness shows and hiding it is such a HUGE task. I remembered just sitting in front of my work pc, my vision suddenly becomes cloudy and tears starts to flow. And for the not so strong ones with the heart, suicide seems to be the next available option. I mean, what’s the meaning of live if HE is no longer there to share it with you? All I can say is, it takes a LOT of courage to commit suicide. Yeah, as an outsider, we would say, ‘ She / he is so silly. To end one’s life over a man / woman is so totally not worth it! ‘.

Trust me. To those whom have sadly succeeded in committing, it was TOTALLY worth it.

That said…JC, be strong and be happy. Time does heals all wounds.

LOVE you lots JC!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Past Few Days Were The Happiest Days Of My Life This Year

It's true. The past few days were the most happiest days of the year.

It started with just simple understandings. Follow by simple joys when chatting. Then comes to the daily looking-forward-to-chatting-with-you sessions. We have so much to talk about. So much 'uncommon' things that we shares. Not forgetting the slowly but steady checking of common things. We joked. We laughed. I saw him laughed (he has cam you see). It felt great to make him laugh. Because deep down, it is like a minor yet satisfying accomplishment.

At times I would be home early just to try my luck at seeing him online. He asked ....

"Why don't you just sms me to say that you are online?"

.... when he discovered later after I told him of my anticipation. But DUH!!, I am not gonna self deface and say such things! NO. Not when we have not even met!

Then came my week long rest because of a minor surgery. HE was in town! But I can't go out and meet him. I can't (I found out later that he too was not ready to meet up, so cute!!). NOT with my blood shot eyes! Then again, if we don't meet now and max out on the opportunity, which by the way is not that often, and by this I meant MONTHS-often-apart.

Finally he was schedule to arrive and for a good 7 days too! YEAH! YIPPIE!

With much anticipation, self preparation, rituals and self cleanses, calendar and watch minute watching and counting later, the day came.

Where do we meet? What should i wear? What fragrance to put on? Which shoe? Which belt? How much amount of hair gel? Do I scrunch my hair a bit or to the extreme?
Suddenly, his call came in and I was told to meet at Asia Cafe in Subang. He has friends around. His schedule was packed with activities (I was told) and he will make time for me, but tonight, he will meet me with his friends around.

Cool i said or was i gonna to be subjected to his friends approval? Ouch! Felt the pressure amounting . . . . FAST!!

So with a brave front and much road directions memorizing later, I presented myself.

He looks HOT!! He looks CUTE! He looks ADORABLE! And he looks very YUMMY! In fact, he was everything I have imagined, pictured, drawed (in my mind from out chats accumulation) and he has a great smile too!

I sat next to him, said HI to his friends, was introduced to everyone and smiled. As it was almost 9.30pm, I ordered my dinner.

"Get some meat" . . . he said.

Huh? What meat? I was confused. I was sweating. Meat? Hmmm. I settled for kway teow soup and a bowl of shrimp dumpling. Hope this was MEAT enough for him. ;-)

Back to the table, sat down and started to eat. His gesture was perfect. He scooped dumplings, (I think there was a bit of blowing to cool the dumpling) before passing it to my spoon to eat. Awww.....! He then placed his palm on my lap. Wow!! Am i imagining this? I then moved my leg around, YUP, checked!, palm still on my lap.

The night went on smoothly. We went back to his hotel, kisses and hugs, then to Frangipanni for drinks.

Fast forward . . . I left for my own place the next day, completely happy, satisfied, fulfilled and contended. Someone up there has finally saw my loneliness and decided not to penalize me anymore. Thank you. THANK YOU!!!

The day went by, but not without me pausing to think of him. It felt great to look forward to something, in this case, someone. The day past by slowly but surely. Soon it was time to meet with him again, at Liquid. The thing is, after a whole day of waiting for night fall, I ended up looking like a total wreck! I can’t see him now. Not HIM, not anyone and certainly not EVERYONE!

I took leave today. Because I felt the need to take things in my hands. He is leaving after all and we need to spend time to merge and connect.

We had Bak Kut Teh for lunch, follow by stopping by his folks stall to pick up his stuffs, prawn sambals and Chinese buns. The a movie, he bought a shirt after the movie and we headed back to town. Dropped him off at Low Yat Plaza to have his laptop fixed and me to his hotel room to carry up his stuffs.

Sadly, the happiest day of my life for this year ended at 6 pmtish. ;-( I shall not elaborate about what happened after that.




It’s bad enough that I have contributed to the sudden ending, there is no need to remind him of the sorrows I am going thru. Call it silly, call it stupid, but I have always been a LET-ME-SUFFER-ALONE kind of guy when it comes to ‘relationships’.

I mean, yeah I was hurt, I shed tears (minus anyone seeing), my face was burning with anger and confusion!

I like YOU. I honestly do and still does. Maybe I was moving too fast. Maybe it was just me alone, but I sure felt some form of connection. I wonder if YOU felt any at all?!

And thus I repeat, THE PAST FEW DAYS WERE THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE FOR THIS YEAR!!!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Nikki Palikat - The Voice Within

One of the contestants...of the 1st Malaysian Idol..

Sunday, August 13, 2006

And The Winning Song Is...

Her debut song after winning the first ever malaysian idol.
When I Fall In Love Again

Wow...same song, same singer....different version!!!
Wait A Moment

Told you so...yet another song of hers... ;-)
When I Fall In Love

One of the many songs sung by Jac Victor

Saturday, August 05, 2006

A Song For All The Single Lonely Guys Out There..

Skeeter Davis - The End of the World (1963) (Live on 1967)


Why does the sun goes on shining?
Why does the sea wash to shore?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world?
Cause you don't love me anymore ....

Why do the world go on spinning?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world ... it ended when i lost your love

I wake up in the morning and i wonder,
Why is everything the same as it was
I can't understand, no i can't understand ...
How life goes on the way it does ...

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world?
It ended when you say goodbye.

Don't they know, it's the end of the world ... it ended when you say .... GOODBYE....!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Seeing The World Minus Spectacles

I did it. I finally did. LASIK!
Tuesday was a long 4 hour plus extensive check up at the centre. My folks sent me there. Technically, if not for the waiting time for a consultant, another consultant, the doctor, the eye drops to work on my eyes, the whole examination process could have taken less than an hour! Sigh, and i thought only all Government related offices and hospitals makes the public wait. How on earth am I supposed to know that you are made to wait at the private clinics too!! Cheh! I was told 2 weeks prior that i would not be able to drive after the examination as my vision will be blurred because of the testing eye drops and all and getting someone to pick me up was advisable, well, they LIED! My vision, with my glasses of course, was the same! No blurring, NADDA! And to think that I have to troubled my folks and AS, to send and pick me up. Hmmm. Oh yes, the consultant who attended to me said that most patients were not able to see clearly at all after the check up. WOW! Lucky me. ;-p
Wednesday. Armed with a back pack of tissue, lots of breath mints and a pair of HUGE sunglass, KK picked me up to the centre at 11.30am. We had lunch at Ikea. Love the coffee, because it's free! Plus unlimited refills. He he. How? WHAT?! You still don't know how? Apply for a Alliance Bank Ikea credit card. It's free annual fees for 5 years, you get to accumulate 4 points when you purchase anything from Ikea, you get a daily free cup of coffee or tea AND you can choose the 12 months interest free instalments when you purchase more than RM1000!! At the same time, i received well wishes sms for my surgery. Aww . . . it was so sweet. Thanks to you-know-who-you-are! ;-)
Next comes the surgery, one more last minute cornea testing before I was ushered into the surgery room. Once in the room, I was given a locker to put all my personal belongings, washed my hands and face with soap, towel dry, wear a cap and a surgical robe and a pair of foot caps. The room next to the actual surgery room was cold! There is another room whereby a nurse was there to test my eyes, placed a drop of eye numbing solution on both eyes and then marked my eyes with a marker. Once done, I was told to go into the laser room. On the first surgical bed, the surgeon said that they are going to make a flap opening on both my eyes. I was told to look between 2 vertical small lines and then suddenly, my vision was blacken as a suction thingie grabbed my cornea, one after the other. Next comes the waiting period of what seems to be like forever in a small lounge room. As the eye drops wore off, my eyes begin to sting and I was tearing profusely each time I attempt to open my eyes. It seems that the intralase flap cutting earlier was self peeling ( a normal process) and thus the tearing. Then I was called back in and ushered to another surgical bed where the part 2 of the laser process does it wonders. It was painless and all I have to do was to look at the red light. I noticed the surgeon had to place his hands to cover my nose on top of another piece of cloth which was earlier placed on my face to reveal only the cornea. Between you and me, as the laser shines thru, I think I smelled something burning!! Ouch! In less than 5 minutes, the surgeon told me that all is over and the surgery was a success. YEA! Then he said, let's look at miracles now, and I was like 'HUH?". So he told me to look at the clock and asked me for the time. OK, I can sort of gage a slightly blurred actual time of the clock. Then he asked me to read a word on the door. I can't recall what it says but thank G i knew the WORD!! He he.
Now comes the fun part. As KK decided to sent me back, he went to watch a movie at the new swanking Cathay Cineplex next to the Curve. So here I was, in a full eye covering shades provided by the centre, standing in front of the Alliance Bank, a tissue on hand and wiping my tears away. Suddenly, a bank guard with a shotgun approached me and asked if I was OK. The first thing that came out of my mouth was,
"I am fine thanks. Don't worry, I may be wearing a dark shade but I am not here to rob your bank!!"
He smiled and said " Oh tidak, tapi saya nampak anda menanggis, ada apa-apa masalah ke?"
Awww .. so sweet of him to asked and CUTE too! ;-)
Fast forward, here I am. All impaired vision corrected. I can get use to this . . FAST!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Expectation and Anniversaries

When you are new to a relationship, do you have any expectations? Or when you are considering a relationship, do you expect anything?

Expectations like

- smile when he tells a joke, even when it is not funny
- be faithful
- do not look at other guys in his presence
- not complaining that you are tired when he wants to go out shopping
- be supportive when he said ‘Let’s go for a picnic this weekend!’
- be his gym buddy
- be his disco buddy
- be his food eating frenzy buddy
- be his FUCK buddy?
- satisfy his hunger, and I do not mean FOOD, when he has a craving
- say ‘Boy that was a wonderful meal honey’, even when it taste funny
- answer his sms or call or mms or paging within 5 seconds
- on time to pick him up from a designated place
- give him a sensual massage when he least expected it
- surprise him with a tight hug and a fat kiss
- fuck him crazy (if you are a top) or blow him crazy (if you are a bottom) or fuck and blow him
crazy (if you are a VERSATILE!!)
- attempt bare backing to delight and to hint to him, in a sexual way, that you are ready to take
the relationship to the next level
- kiss him good night (after brushing your teeth please)
- kiss him good morning (after brushing your teeth too!!)
- hug him tight to sleep
- if he is used to sleeping on your arm before, never complaint that it is sore NOW
- take care of him when he is not well
- till death do ‘us’ part

Phew! Tall order eh? But seriously, one may not expect everything or is able to fulfill it all down to the last point, but one should make the effort to do so. Then again, would you not want him to do the same to you OR expect the same from him? Thus as the old saying goes, what goes around, comes around.

Another common expectation is the ANNIVERSARY. Do not take this for granted. Anniversaries are so so SO important. Instances like the first time you meet. Now this is the tricky part. Do you take the anniversary ‘date’ as the date you got acquainted, say, via a chat room or a dating site, or do you take the date of your first blind date, which might or might not end up with sex, or do you take the date you two first had sex or do you take the date when both decided to be an item?

Anniversaries are like a marriage date to the straight couples. The day when both decides to be as one. Perhaps with a couple’s ring, ah …. that special day. Forget it and you are screwed! There is also the unwritten rule, that one does not just celebrate it once a year. You see, within the first year, you need to celebrate monthly and gradually move to the annual slot. For example, you celebrate the 1st month anniversary, 2nd month, 3rd month, right up to the 1st year. That said, 1st year anniversary is a HUGE thing. R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R this!!!

Gay relationships are TOUGH! It is not limited to just the anniversary of knowing each other. Let’s not forget the anniversary of your first holiday. The first cum licking. The first ‘meet-the-parents’ session. The first movie. The first I LOVE YOU!! The list goes on. Ah… anniversaries. Such simple yet important dates to remember. Can’t remember it all? Don’t be silly, write it down in your diary or mark it in your mobile. What liao!

Having said all the above, do you remember the time when you were first introduce to this BLOG? Ahh . . . ;-)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

One More Week To Go

It has been a week since I faced the world minus contacts BUT with spectacles. Sigh. Now I remembered why I was reluctant to wear my specs. For starters, its heavy, think THICK lenses. The 2 plastic thingie that is positioned on your nose to support the frame hurts. The vision is limited. By this I meant, when I am in my contacts, if something catches my attention, all I have to do is move my eye balls minus moving my entire head! But with specs, one has to move his head in order for his eyes to be properly covered by the specs frame to see clearly. Sounds like a mouthful eh? Well, if you are a specs wearer, you will understand. And for perfect vision guys out there . . . wait for me!! I will be joining you soon. He he

Mom has been calling non stop, asking if I have anyone to send me to and from the lasik centre ( AS will be picking me up for both days, thank you so much, love you, but have yet to find anyone else to send me there. How about Kim you asked? Well, we are not on talking terms for almost 3 weeks now, don’t ask me why, I just can’t believe he is not talking to me anymore!! That said, mom ordered dad to send me there!!), if I need any cash (YES please!!), if I have gotten myself a huge pair of sun glasses to protect my eyes after the surgery (YES. I do not own a pair of sun glasses. Why? I paid good money for contacts! Am not going to wear contacts and then a pair of sunglasses!! No way!) Not to drink citrus juices after surgery because it delays the healing process (REALLY??). To not self cook any food because the oil or heat will fly onto my eyes. To not go out and get the wind blown into my eyes (HUH?). To rest my eyes constantly. To ask for medical leave (YES!!! I intend to beg for an entire WEEK’s worth!!).

Meanwhile I have a riddle for you all, or a guessing game as how BL calls it. Its called … WHAT AM I ?

I wear a uniform
I get to meet a lot of people
The Asian (if I remembered it correctly) games is coming and I am sort of related to it
It is a national pride
TROLLEY!!

No, am not gonna tell you what ‘he’ is yet. ;-)

That said, have you ever got to know a person out of sheer coincidence, it started off with just a normal chat, then progress to MSN chat, than a nightly chat affair, then telephone contacts exchange, then more about oneself, a little bit about one’s life or a day in one’s life, a little bit of needs and wants, and life so far, what one has learned, held, valued, cherished, wishes and wished for, choices and so forth? Deep down you know it is just chats, for now, but BOY!, you just wish it could be much more, that you secretly wants more, yet held back, why?, because you are only human, you do not wish to be hurt even before it starts, you are shy, you are not that thick a skin as how you think, you are smiling profusely to yourself just thinking about HIM, you wish HE felt the same, yet HE says you and HIM does not have much in common, GOD!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO … you swallow your pride and beg to differ, because opposite attracts, you think of HIM constantly, those unofficial copying and pasting of HIS pictures you obtained from a certain site, you look at HIS pictures whenever you can at home and with your laptop on hand, SUDDENLY HE logs in, you say ‘HI” in a most coyly manner, he asked you what are you doing at home and you go stabbing yourself on the heart and wanted to scream out … ‘BECAUSE I AM WAITING TO SEE YOU ONLINE BUT AM NOT ABOUT TO SHOUT THAT OUT TO YOU, silly!!’

Well …. I think he is just damn CUTE!! … you know what they say, beauty is to the eye of the beholder, even the ugliest becomes the most handsomest when one is in AHEM!!

Ouch! Does that sentence turns out like HE is ugly? Oops!!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The Story

The following is courtesy of a friend. ... yes...you know who you are... ;-)


Heads up!"

"Umph!" One second I was strolling along, enjoying my first day on campus--the next I was flat on my back, a constellation of stars spinning in my head. There was a heavy weight pressing against my chest and I felt little puffs of air on my face, hotter than the muggy breeze that stirred the leaves of the huge trees that bordered the main quadrangle. The weight on my chest slowly eased, but my hips were still pinned firmly to the ground. The stars faded as I struggled to focus on the vague shape that floated above me.

The shadows gradually resolved into the chiseled features of a very handsome man. His nose was long and straight, his eyes deep-set and gray, the strong jaw split by a sexy cleft. His lips were full, almost pouty, and as I watched him, his tongue flickered out over the lush curve of the lower, making it glisten. His arms were braced on either side of me, big arms, thick with muscle. Short hairs swirled around his prominent nipples and shadowed the solid mass of his chest. The dark moss gathered in the valley between his mounded pecs, then trickled in a fine line over the washboard of his belly.

"Sorry," I gasped, raising my hand, barely brushing the curve of his biceps, slicking my fingertips with his sweat.

"My fault," he replied, springing up and extending his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. "I hope you're not hurt."

"No...not at all. Just caught off guard. That's all."

"Glad to hear it." He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "You don't strike me as the delicate type." I felt the pressure of his fingers against my skin, the heat of him soaking through my pores. My heart jumped against my rib cage. "Uh...no, I'm not. I..."

"Hey, Ramsey! Get back over here so we can finish beating your team's collective ass, man."
"Stuff it, Jeffreys. I'll be right there." He turned back to me. "My name's Paul Ramsey. You're new on campus."

"Uh...yes. Byron. Byron Wade. Glad to meet you, Paul."

"Take care, Byron. Keep your eyes open. Okay?"

"Sure. Bye." I watched him jog back to his buddies and resume the soccer game on the sunny quad. Paul got the ball and literally danced it across the grass. His long, muscular legs were tanned and hairy. Sweat glistened on his broad back and darkened the waistband of his scarlet shorts. I scurried away before my burgeoning hardon became too obvious.

I jogged back across campus to my dormitory. I ran up the twelve flights of stairs to my room in a futile attempt to exhaust myself. It didn't help--my cock was still so stiff it tented the front of my shorts, and a quarter-sized wet spot marked the location of the head. I locked the door and threw myself on the bed.

If there had been any lingering doubts about my sexuality, the encounter with Paul Ramsey had erased them. Back in high school I had eyed the guys in the showers, and I had even had a couple of wet dreams about Howie Davis, the captain of the football team, but I had blown it off as part of my general state of horniness. After all, I had laid Marsha Harrison out at her parents' beach house last summer, even if I had had to get drunk to do it. However, when Paul Ramsey had touched me I was stone sober, and my instant desire had been to have sex with him.

I wriggled out of my sweaty shorts and kicked them onto the floor. My prick swung up and pointed at me, levitating two inches above my abs. I wrapped both hands around the pale, blue-veined shaft and started stroking. I felt that touch from head to toe. I raised my head off the bed, watched my body change. My nipples tightened into two fat points, my balls drew up into a knot, the pale hairs on my thighs stood on end. I tightened my fingers, and my glans colored pink, then crimson, then an angry purple as it swelled, flaring like a cobra poised to strike.

I dropped my head and started jerking off. I closed my eyes and saw Paul Ramsey again, hovering above me, his narrow hips pinning me, his cock and balls mashed tight against me. I turned my head towards the shoulder he had touched, licked the pale, freckled skin, imagined it was his sweat that came away all salty on my tongue. I hunched my hips, pushed my fat cock through the interlaced prison of my fingers, shooting sparks of pleasure up and down my spine.The sound of his voice had been incredibly sensual--deep and rich, tickling my ears, resonating in my prick. I shifted one hand down to my balls, cupping the fat orbs, jiggling, squeezing, pulling on them till I felt a sharp ache in the pit of my gut. I stroked my prick again, balls to knob, then settled back into a steady, rhythmic jacking.

I closed my eyes, thought back to those delicious moments on the quad. I had looked from his broad chest down along his thick arms. They had been wet with sweat, the hairs on his forearms plastered flat. The hair in his armpits had been dark, curly, beaded with more of the acrid sweat that oozed from his pores. I had watched a big drop break loose, drizzle down the full curve of his chest, through those short, crisply-curling hairs, to his fat, swollen tit. It had glittered on that fleshy point, then he had breathed, expanding his chest, and it had fallen. It flashed in the sun, then exploded against my upper arm. I looked at the spot, half expecting to see a brand imprinted on my flesh. There was no mark, only the twitching of my biceps as I pumped my cock harder and faster.

I looked down along my arm, watched the muscles moving under the pale skin, saw the red-knuckled fingers wrapped around the ruddy horn that jutted up out of a bush the color of fire. I watched my prick, saw the goo begin to ooze out of the gaping slit gouged in the tip, watched it flow across my belly and down my sides. You don't strike me as the delicate type. Why had he said that? Had he desired me? Desired the compactly muscled leanness of my lanky body? Desired the unmarked perfection of my pale, freckled skin? Desired the throbbing lump he must have felt pressing against his groin?

All those speculations remained unanswered as my orgasm came boiling up out of some primal well centered deep in my gut. I tangled my feet in the sheets and tossed my head from side to side. My hips rose off the bed, my fist frozen in mid-stroke. My prick grew longer and thicker, then exploded in a pungent arc of jism that flew high in the air and splattered down against my cheek and neck. I moaned, jacked myself, shot again, this time slashing my chest with a narrow band of white. More pleasure-dazed shocks followed, beading my belly and frosting my knuckles. Then I collapsed against the pillows, panting, spent, thinking thoughts of Paul Ramsey.

I raised my fist, then let it drop to my side. I tried to take a deep breath, but it caught in my throat as I fought down my panic. All I had to do was knock. I had been invited, after all. I looked at the gleaming green paint, the brass lion with the heavy ring in its mouth, the brass bar beneath. I raised my hand again, grasped the ring, let it fall with a hollow crash."Byron Wade?" I jumped at the sound of my own name, then nodded my assent. The door swung inward and I stepped into a cavernous, wood-paneled hall. The man who stood before me was blond, handsome, expressionless. He had been on the field with Paul Ramsey the day we had met. I smiled at him, but his expression didn't change."In here," he said, crossing the hallway and opening a door. "Follow the instructions to the letter." He handed me an envelope.

"I...""No questions," he cut in, motioning me into the room. I entered and the door closed firmly behind me. I leaned back against the gleaming panels and closed my eyes. What was I letting myself in for? I had no idea what was happening--only that I had received the invitation the previous Monday. The embossed stationery had told me that it came from Calvert Hall, a mysterious club on campus that none of my peers knew about beyond whispered rumors. The club was private, exclusive, discreet to the point of invisibility, for men only. Unlike a fraternity, nobody rushed Calvert Hall. If they wanted you, they sent for you. I knew nothing more than the simple fact that I had been asked to appear for evaluation--and that the summons had been signed by Paul Ramsey. I had come willingly--no, eagerly.

I read the terse instructions, then read them again, convinced that I had misunderstood. I had not. I stripped off my carefully chosen clothes and walked naked to the closet. I threw open the door and gasped with surprise. A mannequin--anatomically correct in every respect--stood inside. It was naked, except for wide leather straps at wrist and ankle, a studded collar, and a rawhide thong wrapped around its dangling balls.

Perhaps these items weren't scandalous in themselves--although they appeared very exotic to a small-town boy whose single, drunken foray into sex had been in the Missionary position and had taken all of five minutes from start to finish. I got naked, put on the leather straps and collar, then laced the thong around my privates. My prick immediately began to pump with my hot, horny blood. I bit my lip, hard, suddenly terrified by the whole situation. I almost turned and ran then, but the lights went out and the double doors in front of me swung slowly inward.
I took a deep breath and stepped forward into a huge and gloomy chamber, lit only by flickering candles in sconces on the walls. The doors shut firmly behind me, cutting off my escape. My heart fluttered, but I resolutely put one foot in front of the other, moving deeper into the gloom. At first I saw nothing, heard only a faint rustling and the sound of breathing. Still I walked forward, drawn by something I couldn't see.

Without warning a bright spotlight ripped through the gloom directly above me, pinning me to the spot. I knew instinctively that I should move no further, so I stood and waited, hands at my sides, eyes straight ahead. There were faint murmurs, then a handclap stilled every sound but the pounding of my heart.

I didn't see them until they were flanking me, and then I could hardly believe what I saw, looming out of the gloom. Two tall men, naked, cocks erect, faces masked, stepped close and gripped my hands. I stiffened, but didn't resist them as they looped ropes through the steel rings attached to the leather cuffs that bound my wrists. I looked right, saw a lean, tightly muscled body not unlike my own, hairless except for pale gold pubes that curled around the base of a long, slender cock. His balls were fat, heavy, hanging low between his legs. To the left another man, smooth-torsoed, hairy-legged, like a satyr, his prick thick and veiny, capped by a helmet-shaped glans. They stepped close, rubbed their pricks against my wrists, up the tender
skin on the inside of my forearms. My dick began to rise.

Two more men stepped forward as the first pair faded back into the shadows. They were bigger, bulkier, hairier, both stiff-cocked and masked. They knelt beside me and looped their ropes through the rings on my ankle straps. Their heads were close to my throbbing stiffer, their breath warm against the shaft, ruffling the hair on my balls. I groaned and my cock rose higher in the air.

These men disappeared as well, leaving me alone again in the spotlight, prick pulsing, heart pounding, body shivering with anticipation. I felt a tug on the ropes, watched as my hands rose out from my sides and above my head. I grasped the ropes firmly as my feet left the floor, leaving me suspended in the silent gloom. The ropes below began to tighten, scissoring my legs wide apart. I flexed my muscles, pulled against the ropes, began to swing gently back and forth. I tensed the muscles in my groin and my dick smacked me in the stomach.

A man appeared in front of me, hands extended. His arms were massive, knotted with muscle, cabled with thick veins. His huge chest glistened with oil and sweat, and a fine silver chain ran from one fat tit to the other. I looked more closely, saw the toothed clips biting the tender flesh, felt my balls tingle at the thought. And then I saw what he held in his hands, drawing closer to the pale pink nubs on my own chest. The clips hovered near me, wicked looking, snarling, ready to bite. His eyes were on me, boring into my brain, waiting. I looked again at his chest, then down at his cock, arcing skyward, drooling clear goo like strands of spun glass. I nodded, thrust my chest out, fought not to scream as the clips bit deep into my flesh.

A bolt of intense sexual heat arced from tits to asshole to cock, then back again. My every muscle strained as the intensity of the sensations bombarded the pleasure centers of my brain. I sucked the air into my lungs, expanding my chest to the limit, savoring the cool chain against my skin. I looked at the man who had clamped me, stared into his eyes, saw a smile flicker briefly across his lips.

He faded from view and another man appeared, his palm filled to overflowing with lead weights. He poured them from hand to hand, back and forth, his eyes glued to my tightly knotted balls. He set the weights carefully on the floor, grasped the leather thong, pulled it till my asshole puckered tight. He reached down, selected a weight, tied it on the thong, lifted it, slowly turned his palm until the weight dropped towards the floor.

"Aieee!" A scream of pleasure was ripped from me in spite of my efforts to remain silent. A moment of burning agony was supplanted by a raging, almost unbearable thrill of pure sex that set my nerves on fire.

"More!" I begged. He added a second weight, then, at my urging, a third. I watched my fat nuts sag, pulled low, stretching their cords to the limit. He held another weight in his palm, waiting. I looked down, saw my ball bag dragged towards my knees, nodded one last time.

While I hung there, tits and balls and cock shooting pleasure barbs along every nerve, I heard a rumbling. A strange contraption was wheeled under me, the width of a single board, studded with plastic pricks that ranged from finger size to a wrist-thick monster that towered higher than a foot. It rolled to a stop beneath me. One of the men stepped from the shadows with a long-nozzled bottle in his hand. He slipped it between my legs, ran the nozzle up and down my crack, then pushed it up into me. I groaned as the cool lubricant flooded me, filling my tight, virgin manhole. The nozzle popped out and I clenched, struggling to keep the lube from spewing out.

I was so intent on my task that I didn't notice the ropes lowering me until the smallest of the cocks had nudged my assring and slipped inside. It was tiny, barely penetrating me. It spread my sphincter, then popped out when I tensed my cheeks, rising slightly off the board. Two masked attendants stepped up to me and began rubbing my thighs and ass, stroking the muscles until I relaxed back onto it. There was a slight tug on the chain that connected my tits and I tensed and rose again, quickly learning to fuck myself on the tiny plastic prick.
Without warning the ropes pulled me up and the board moved under me. The next dildo was perhaps four inches long, as thick as both my thumbs. I looked down apprehensively, felt it probe my aching balls. Then it touched my assring and the head of it poked up into me. I wriggled away, but the ropes on my wrists slackened and it penetrated to the hilt. I squirmed and the cock touched something inside of me that intensified the sensations fighting for mastery of me. I gasped and squirmed again.

I grunted in protest when this prick was yanked out of my bowels and I was again raised into the air. The third prick loomed, twice as big as the one before, almost as long as mine, almost as thick. I clenched my hole, bounced on the knob and slipped off. A man stepped forward, grabbed my balls, guided me back to it. My asshole clenched again, but he grabbed my tit chain and pulled me down. I felt the cock deep up in me, stretching my channel, shooting delicious sparks up and down my spine.

I mastered two more pricks, my cock dripping pre-cum, my asshole drooling lube. The final one loomed at the end of the board, horrifyingly huge, too long and thick to contemplate except as an object of perfect beauty. I knew it would be impossible, would split me open, balls to throat. I strained at the ropes, flexed my arms, held myself suspended above the larger-than-life cock.
"Stop!" A familiar voice rang out. It was Paul Ramsey. He stepped into view, naked, no mask to hide his handsome features. His fat dick drooped heavily, curving down over his big balls. I watched as he pulled the cock laden board out from between my legs. I let my muscles relax, hung limp while two of the masked men stroked my belly and my ass.

Paul Ramsey reached above his head, gripped another rope that dangled in the gloom. His biceps bulged and the muscles in his shoulders danced as he rose. He spread his legs wide, parallel to the floor, holding the pose while a third man pushed the board beneath him. He hovered above that monster cock, then dropped down, slowly engulfing every thick, glistening inch of the huge phallus.

I watched him intently, watched his belly muscles ridge, watched the intense look of concentration on his face, watched his cock stretch and rise, gradually becoming twin to the monster that was plugged deep in his hairy ass. It jutted up in front of him, extending beyond his navel to his sternum, the head as big as a man's clenched fist.

"Please!" I begged, staring at the throbbing organ hungrily. "I want it. Please!" He nodded. Men moved out of the shadows to manipulate the ropes. I was upended, feet above my head, my mouth hovering within inches of the gleaming head of his huge dick. I opened wide, stuck out my tongue, made contact. The salty goo oozing out his blowhole coated my tongue, took my breath away. I strained towards him as he rose slightly off his plastic perch, plugging his cock into me. The tension on the ropes shifted--my jaws strained, my throat filled, my nose was buried in his curling pubes.

The men began to work the ropes, raising and lowering me, pumping Paul Ramsey's long, thick dick in and out of my throat. I looked up at him, saw him looking down at me, mouth gaping, nostrils flared. I lashed the bulging shaft of his cock with my tongue as it pumped in and out of me. At the top of the stroke, the men held me, let me suck his knob, run my lips and tongue across the swollen, tender dome of flesh until Paul Ramsey groaned and bucked, fucking himself brutally with the twin to his own prick.

"I want him," Paul Ramsey growled. "Now!" I was drawn up into the darkness, somersaulted around, dropped towards the bloated, spit-slicked column of flesh that jutted up between his furry legs. Two men stepped forward, steadied me, slipped their fingers up into my asshole, stretched the puckered lips wide. Paul Ramsey pumped up, filled the gap, plugged me with his knob. I grunted satisfaction, struggled to sink lower.

"Let me down!" I screamed. "Let me down!" They obeyed, releasing tension on the ropes. I remained balanced for a second, then gasped for air as he thrust up hard and stabbed his dick deep. My aching balls nestled against his belly, crimson and shiny against his swarthy, fur-spiked skin. I looked down, watched the gap between us close until I had taken all of him inside of me.

"Fuck yourself, Byron," he whispered. "Make love to my cock, man. Fuck my big, hard prick." I gripped the ropes, flexed my arms, drew myself slowly off, then sank back down. His eyes fluttered shut, long lashes laid out on his cheeks. I rose again, higher, squeezed my assring tight around him, dropped a fraction, then rose again. His chest expanded as he gasped for breath, his erect nipples touched mine, sparking fire.

I thrust back at him, squirming and twitching as I fought against the ropes. I leaned into him, touched him, the chain that hung from my tits glittering in the hair on his chest. He pressed back, his body hard and hot. While I lay against him, looking into his gray eyes, he flexed his arms, pulled up on the rope, raised both of us into the air.

I responded, rising myself, then dropping hard, forcing him down and pushing him deep into me. He thrust again. I responded again. He thrust. Then I. And then it became a frantic match between us, groaning, bucking, howling as we fought towards orgasm, joined cock to asshole.
Paul Ramsey threw back his head, bared his muscled neck to me, began to come. I watched his Adam's-apple bob as he gasped for air, howling out a pleasure that I felt inside of me in the throbbing, flexing discharge of his prick. The thick, soothing heat gushed up into my aching channel as my cherry ass received its first carnal communion.

"I...I...aaahh!" He thrust out his belly, rubbed it against my cock. My body went rigid, then I exploded, shooting jism like a fountain held under too much pressure for far too long. My come splattered his face and neck, beaded in the hairs on his chest, slashed his washboard belly. I opened my mouth, ready to speak, when I shot again, and then again. I dangled limply against him, my head on his shoulder, my prick still pumping goo with every beat of my heart. When I finally raised my head to look at him again, he was receding quickly behind a veil of glittering stars.

When I regained consciousness, I was on a couch, fully clothed, before a roaring fire. I sat up slowly, shook my head to clear it, tried, unsuccessfully, to remember where I was, or why. Nothing. I stood, slightly shaky, drank the water in the crystal glass set on the silver tray beside the couch, then crossed the vast room towards a door.

It swung open at my touch and I was in a hall--a hall that seemed vaguely familiar, but which I could not place. And then I saw him--Paul Ramsey--standing near an open door, wearing the red soccer shorts. I walked towards him, feeling like I was in a dream.

"Hey there, Byron," he said, smiling at me enigmatically. "Good going, guy."

"Oh," I replied, weaving slightly, as though I were drunk. "Oh."

"We've got a soccer game to play this morning against a house full of frat rats. You play soccer, don't you Byron?"

"Oh, yes," I replied, memory flooding back in a rush. "Yes, Paul. I play."

"Good job, Byron. Come with me. I'll loan you a pair of shorts. You can't do a fair job for our
team dressed like that, can you?" I shook my head, then followed him up the stairs, into the secret heart of Calvert Hall.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Lasik

That’s laser eye surgery for you baby. ;-) Yes! After just close to a month of research on lasik, mainly because my eyes are giving me problems with the contacts I am wearing, ie .. countless continuos eye drops dropping, side redness, blurring and just plain old uncomfortable like sensation. ME! Yes! This from me whom is a seasoned contact lenses wearer for more than 15 years.

So, back to the researching on lasik. I found that laser eye surgery was made available in Kuala Lumpur since 1995. The pioneer in this industry is Optimax at TTDI. This is follow closely by Vista with their new location at the Curve opposite Ikea.

To start off with, the surgery involves 2 main parts. Cutting a layer off one’s cornea to reveal the pupil. This then creates a flap like that of a opened door with hinge, follow by lasering the pupil. It’s a known fact that even though one’s cornea is being partially slice off for the laser to do it wonders, when the flap is being placed back to cover the pupil, the healing process is almost immediate. The natural suction of the entire eyeball will automatically pull the flap back and thus eliminating any complications like your sliced cornea opening its doors to the world as you, say walk!! He he.

So. Back to the slicing of the cornea, part 1. The proven and tested method and most local surgeons has extreme experience in is called the Blade method or microkeratome. A newer method made available in the market for the past 2 to 3 years is the low vacuum pressure laser method or better known as Intralase. This technique is ultimately very expensive to bring in and thus if its available at a specific lasik centre, this would means that it is equally expensive to the patient. Other lasik centre around town like Excel View at Mid Valley uses this blade method only.

Part 2 is the lasering of the pupil. 3 methods are made available now, namely standard, tissue saving and custom. All produces the same results, except the custom method produces an extra clarity in terms of vision. This does not means that the other 2 are bad. Again, with all new technology, the 1st technique is always the proven and safest method follow by the newer versions, which, has yet to result to any complications (if any) namely because the period for any serious damage to be seen in the long run has not runs its due course. More in detailed between those are, the standard method is the tried and tested method since 1995. The tissue saving method works exceptionally well for those with a thin layer or gap between the exterior of the cornea and the pupil. Again, if your layer between the two are thick or normal, then this method does not really matters to you. Oh yes, each forward step method costs extra moolah too. ;-) The custom method is a custom made for your eyes only. Its corrects all visual impairment that you have including those which you do not know like perhaps . . gee… what already ah? I have forgotten. He he

OK. Whats the price like?

It will range from as low as RM2000 per eye to RM5000 per eye based on the above mentioned laser treatments. Other more complicated ones which requires implants cost as much as RM10,000 per eye!!!

Most Lasik centres offers a 1 year free retreatment and servicing of your eyes. Yes, your now new eyes need to be serviced like that of your teeth! Some even offers a life time retreatment free of charge. 2 centres which I recommend are the pioneer and the second competitor, Optimax and Vista. For more information, check out www.optimax.com.my and www.vista.com.my The outlet at Mid Valley is www.excelview.com

Starting this Monday, 5th June, I will be wearing my old ugly spectacles for 2 weeks before my surgery day on 21st. Am nervous and knows that i will look ugly during these two weeks because I look weird in specs!

As for my birthday celebration on 30th May, NONE. I spent it quietly at Ikea browsing alone and a quick dinner there. Such is life when LOVE and LOVER is such an importance to me. Sob sob.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Singapore Trip

Yes….i was there…and came back! The coach ride was norm, although I cant figure out what was so ++ (plus plus) about the coach. Hmmm

Reached on a Friday late noon and took a cab to the hotel. The room was comfortable, room 804. Have my basic sleeping tools, a nice spring bed, feather pillows, 2 of it, and a feather quilt. PERFECT. Now if only the provide cotton bolsters or…a MAN!! He he

The bathroom was a tad too small though and the bath towel…it was HUGE!! My room mate, WN, could actually use it to wrap around his bod like a sarong (minus the party girl) from chest till between his knee and ankle. WOW…by the way WN, it was a fabulous trip and you are a great travel companion! We should do this again…for our next trip.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

A Trip

Yes, a trip finally for me. Not super far, not super near, hey, I need use the pages of my expensive passport …its SINGAPORE!! Yes! Singapore.

Why Singapore? I don’t know, maybe it is to make use of the cheap hotel room rate, approximately RM110nett with breakfast in a 5 star hotel at Orchard Road! Cheap eh? Well, members has its privilege. He he.

For starters, it is time for me to go to Singapore, to catch up with my good friend JC. Our friendship dated back the early 1990s! It was his first hotel then (I think) and my first ever attempt at reception duties. Back then, I was told to report for work in November. So when the day came, being our first day (there were 4 other new colleagues) reporting for work at the pre opening office. It was a swanking new 5 star hotel with a hotel, apartment and shopping mall concept in Kuala Lumpur. Though the brand name was new, the owner are super rich, she is a rich man’s daughter who owns a certain hill top resort … or rather who owns the entire HILL!! Or was it a mountain? Hmmm

Anyway, as we walked into the office, the Assistant Financial Controller (AFC) came to us and announced that the first batch of new employees were only going to report on December 1st, a month from our start date and we were told to go HOME!! Boy was I angry. Firstly, why wait till our 1st day at work to inform us? We all have contact numbers, why cant they call to inform us? 2ndly, I could have work an extra month with my former employer and not waste an entire month sitting on my ass!! I then stormed off, the others just followed, sharing the same opinion, except they did not voiced out! Hmmm. As we were going down the escalators, the AFC came running after us. ‘WHAT?!” I snapped back. He proceed to apologize for the inconvenience caused and then told us … “Oh yes, I forgot to inform you all that your wages will be paid in full for this entire month’ … OMG …. Cant he have told us earlier? Hmm … so coyly, I smiled, and thanked him for the company’s generous gratitude. He he. And I quickly ran off!! We became good pals after that from December onwards. Between you and me and my blog, I think I had a crush on him soon after….hehe

Oh yes, selfish me, JC joined us a couple of months later.

And by the way, remember the ex whom I met on the bus? He joined my company a year later and under my supervision!! Boy did I gave him a hard time. Yes SIR I did. Scolded him for no reason, even for the smallest mistake. All my colleagues then asked why he was so tolerant with me, JC knew about our past though, and yet he did not once retaliate.

Alas, as sentimental a person I am, I soon fell in love with him all over again. There was this moment when we were in the pantry and I was, being my usual scolding mode self, scolded him and at a very intense moment, our eyes met .. and my heart just melt. We kissed at the pantry! YES!! Boy it was such a memorable moment, I am back in his arms … FINALLY! .. we were together for a couple of weeks, with me ensuring that his shift is the same as mine throughout. :-)

I remembered that faithful night, when my feelings for him finally died. How? Call it lame, but while I was blowing him, I asked …

“Do you love me?”

He was silent but HARD.

I asked again … ‘Do you love me?” ‘Are we officially back together?”

He finally answered …

“Casey. I love you, but please understand my current state of mind. I am like a cloud. Sometimes, when the water is so heavy, you see me gathering a big and smoky cloud and ready to pour out love showers. Other times when the weather is dry, I am no where to be seen, and all you see is a vacant spot where I used to be, clear blue skies and me no where to be found”

I was not sure I understood what it meant, but I was pretty darn sure his heart is not with me. Thus I stopped blowing him, wiped my lips (I still so want to continue blowing him), and told him to leave that very instant. My heart was punctured beyond repair. All feelings ceased to exist. I will adjust. I will survive!!

And THAT was how I learn to stop loving a person after break up, by collecting negative thoughts of that person and turned it into hatred. With hatred, one tends to forget easily. But without it, one tends to hold on to a certain piece of ‘him’ and refuses to let go. Ah … the life lessons I have to go thru. Sigh.

NOW you still have any single and eligible guys to introduce to me? ;-)

Friday, April 07, 2006

Loneliness

Do you feel lonely at times?

Do you feel at times when you have free time on hand, but because you are alone, you tend to just sit back and wait for miracles to happen? And when it’s late and you sense that it’s not going to happen, you end up telling yourself

“ It’s late anyway, I think I’ll just sleep “

How about times when you are at a shopping mall? You walk around, with full intention of knowing what you want to buy, then suddenly, you realize that the mall is full of couples!! Turn left, couple holding hands. Turn right couple staring into each other’s eyes and talking. Turn back, couple looking at a window display and commenting. Look straight, couple walking closely with each other! Now I am not sure about you, but I would be so wishing that 1 am one of the couple among all the couples I am seeing!

Being single SUCKS!!

That said, why am I bitching about being alone when I did not bitch that much before? That’s because Kim is now seeing someone! Call me jealous, call me greedy, call me an ATTENTION seeker, but BOY it sure is lonely without him around, as and when I needed him! And even if I HAVE him, I get like a ‘shift’ companionship. How does this works? Picture this. We go out for gym. We planned to work on a specific body part. Then before we start, he said, gym is only for 30 minutes today. Why? Because his other half wants to see him. Spare me, spare ME!! Or was it SPANK me? Hmmm!! And here we have is exhibit conversation A …

CL - “Are we going out to Frangi tonight for a drink?”

Kim - “Errr . . .NO”

CL - “Huh? Why…?”

Kim - “Because I have to go see him?”

CL - “What !!??” … push Kim out the door, SLAMS it and then said … ‘BYE!”


Oh yes, allow me to add in Kim’s own defense just to make it fair eh?

“But (censored), you will always be important to me”

Anyway, back to my main topic. I tend to get sidelined at times with my conversation, I wonder why? Hmmm. Focus. FOCUS!

The thing about loneliness is, most guys whom you asked for an opinion says they would rather be single. By the way, did I mentioned that most of these so called guys are under the attached category? Cheh! And, surprise – SURPRISE!, most guys who actually replied that they can’t wait to be happily attached are SINGLE, VERY AVAILABLE and DEVOTEDLY and FAITHFULLY guys … like ME!!!!

That said, need to find a lover FAST ..!

Volunteers anyone? Surely you have a single and available gay friend, cousin, older brother, nephew, colleague, EX!!, or SOMETHING!

Please pretty pleaseeeeeeeeee ……………. ?

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Research

I have another blog all ready to be published. So whats the problem? Well…..thats because … I do not know how to paste a picture to each paragraph!! Nevertheless, I have the entire weekend to reach up a software!! That sais, I ve mastered the art of picture posting!! The blog before this WAS the problem blog… ;-) The gym was packed today. Why? It’s the grand prize draw of a trip around the world for 2 at California Fitness Mid Valley!! Maybe I am just a sore loser, because I did not WIN!!...but the grand prize winner, a Chinese chap, is not good looking leh…hehe



That said, there was this HUGE and muscular guy at the gym today. Boy…he is DAMN HUGE!! Not the overly huge but just nice huge. I mean, as I was changing in the locker room, he was just standing next to me, TOPLESS!! And boy did I get an eyeful. His chest is so defined and yummy!! I could plant my lips there and just lick away…;-). Meanwhile, I aim to built a bod like HIS!!!

That said, I was on the topic of couplehood with UR and Kim. The following questions popped up :

What is the average sex rate per week for couples?
When does a couple decides on barebacking?

The following questions were not successfully posed as the distance between my home and Liquid was like 20 minutes drive away in the early hours of the morning! Bummer ….. ;-(

Who initiates the sex in a couple?
Does the initiation usually ends with sex or a “not tonight honey, I have a headache!”
Does either one still roams when the other does not?
Do you have sweet lovey-dovey names for each other?
Does the heart grows fonder of each other with time or vice versa?

I did get a few much coaxing replies. Like … And also later questions pose to other friend. You know who you are !

“Well, the sex was initially very frequent in the beginning, after some time, it’s the companionship that counts”

“Yes, we still have sex regularly, like every other day” (SHOW OFF!!)

“Barebacking? Of course!!”

“ Err … based on love and trust”

“He asked me to fuck bare back first, so I fuck lo”

“No need initiate one, you can tell when his dick is hard one”

“Sex? Errr .. I watch TV first, then decide later (and pray pray that HE is asleep!!)”

“Yeah, I think open relationships help the relationship in the long run” (yeah right! .. excuses to fuck around. Might as well not start one!! CHEH!!)

“Open? No way. It has to be him for me and vice versa! Fool around? You DIE if I finds out!!”

“Oh-oh! Ah-ah! Yeah-yeah! Argh-argh! Phew…that was great honey, next round after dinner?”

Boo hoo….when can I get a lover and start all the above? Can hardly wait!!....hehe …



p/s Note from CL, not all blogs are posted within the same day of writing, thus, when I said…the gym is packed today, I actually meant a few days ago!.. hehe

My Very Own Palace

To begin with, this post was a continous of the previous post which was nicely done via words and when i started to copy and paste to my blog, the pictures did not appear. How on earth would i know that one cannot do it this way but can only do so via a choreful method of uploading all pictures from bottom up and then recopy the blogs from top down!! Phew, i could use the same now, minus the computer .. hehe.

Meanwhile, this is what my condo looks like before it was furnished!

Area at the entrance, enough to turned into a 3rd room, but who needs another room? Perhaps a walk in closet but I don’t have that much cloths to command a space like this. Meanwhile, its now a store room of sorts.



The kitchen. The original owner has removed all the cabinets before selling it to me. Hmm . . . I didn’t know that the cabinets could fit into her new place of residence.


The living room viewed from the main entrance. Noticed the long mirror fixed onto the wall? Still there now, have yet to find a suitable frame edge.


My bedroom, huge room. On the right is the bathroom entrance. Noticed the clean room? That’s because this picture was taken after I ve clean and polished and rewax the parquet floorings. By the way, credits has to be given to Kim because he helped in the between the gap wood tiles refilling.

Hmmm ... perhaps i should do another post in it's current furnished state? Wait ... let me do some major house cleaning work before taking the pictures!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The Dream


Yes, after years of zero dreams, just as I was talking to a friend, AZ the night before, I dreamt!

The dream was what I would categorize as a nightmare. Firstly it was not a pleasant one. Secondly, I surely did not enjoyed it and thirdly, I still remembered it!! What liao.

It begins with me going down to my car at my condo car park, only to discover that the 2 back tyres were stolen. Everything else was intact except this 2 tyres. What happened next was a CSI method of evidence searching where by I was looking for prints and security cameras for clues. Ok…this part of the CSI part was a bit vague.

The next thing I knew, I received an anonymous call on my mobile telling me to go to the hotel lobby. Hmm . . so down I went, with caution, and I noticed from far, a car parked at the open space in front of the condo lobby, a guy holding a camera and standing by the driver’s seat with the door open. He looks like he was trying to capture a picture of me and I immediately partially hide my face with my palm and started to run. As I run towards the lifts, I saw 2 more men coming out from the car and started to gave chase. The lift came and I immediately pressed my floor button.

With quick thinking, I think, I also pressed a couple of floors before and after mine to divert the pursuers. However I got off the lift one floor before mine and headed for the stairways. As I walked with caution along the open corridors towards my unit, a stalker was already in front of me. I turned to only discover another stalker behind me. Again they attempted to snap my picture.

This is where I started to do a few impressive Charlie’s Angels stunts! A quick flip and a side hand grip of the corridor bars, I managed to flip with ease to the floor corridor above me. Alas, the 3rd stalker was already on this floor and thus an exchange of fists and foot kicks pursued. A 2 palm block from his magnificent kick, follow by a front leg split on my side, I managed to pull a fast punch towards his stomach and made his fall back some 20 steps! By this time the other 2 stalkers has joined us and I had to do a squat twist and tripped them with my right leg. A one palm pushed on the floor and I was raised off the floor to do a stand up flip and chin kicked one of the stalker! Phew… !

Much kung fu flips and punches and off the ground flying with my effortless body weights later, thanks to my martial arts background, hey, is a dream after all, I managed to send them off fleeing and back to my condo unit saved.

That’s when I woke up. Not panting or sweating, but more like self questioning, why only 3 stalkers? I am sure, with my martial skills, handled more stalkers!!...hehe

Suddenly I recalled one thing very odd about the entire nightmare, I do not recognize the condo I was staying in! Hmmm….

Can you decipher my dreams for me?

Boys Night Out

Yes, for the 3rd Saturday in a row, as how Kim puts it, were spent partying at Liquid!

Let’s see, the first Saturday was a birthday party, 2nd was also a birthday party and dinner. Tonight was just a outing excuse … I needed to be out…because my initial nap at noon ends up with full blown sleep and only waking up around 10 pm!

Went with my ex JK, its fun to be with him, brings back fond memories. We do not have sex anymore, not that I don’t wish for it, but just being with him makes my hour or day. Now why did we break up in the first place? Oh yes, I complaint that he hardly have time for me, and he said he either has work, family or best friends (mind you, he has many) to meet or do, before me. What the F! Don’t I get any priority? Did I mentioned we broke up on 14th February? I figured, it’s our first ever valentine, we should be celebrating it day AND night, not day with me and night with his best friend!! We both took leave then. His reason was his best friend is in town and his boyfriend is not around to celebrate it with him. SO??!! His best friend knows me, surely he would want us to celebrate as a couple and not separated. What kind of best friend is this? Oh yes, I know his best friend too by the way. Enough said.

Since we are on the topic of ex …no? …but I want to talk about exs….hehe….ok…thanks…I will start from A to Z!!!...;-)

DC was my first ever. Met him on a bus. He was my first ever too, kiss, nipple, fuck, dick…yup…first ever. Back to the bus, it was the first 2 stops, and when I boarded the bus, he was already sitting all the way at the back of the bus. I remembered the first impression I had of him was .. WOW…tall HUNK!! And so I walked all the way to the end of the bus and sat next to him. No, I was not being desperate…ok…maybe a bit, but it’s the early 90s, mini buses rules then. So imagine a super compact and small bus, long leg boys like me HAS to sit at the back rows! So, I sat next to him, took a peek at him and realize that he was asleep. Thus, I just sat there. Suddenly, I felt a slight finger brushing on my bicep, I looked at him, nope, he is still asleep. I then felt it again … yup .. confirmed he touched me. But wait, he is pretending to be sleeping leh… so I did the same to him, pretend to sleep and crossed my arms, touching him. It went on and on, he touched me, I look, he asleep, I touched him, he looked, I am asleep…and vice versa. Phew…! tough work though, to be on a mini bus, touching his left bicep with my fingers, while my arms are crossed and I have to be in a sleeping MODE!!! Soon it was time for me to get off….the bus silly, NOT rocks!...;-)…. And there I stood, at the bus stand and him still at the back of the bus as it moves on. Suddenly, the bus came to a halt….and there he stood n pushed his way to get off the bus. Goody…he is approaching me! Approach he did, and I can still remember his first said sentences to me …

“Do you have a light?”

Hmmm .. ‘YES!!”

Fast forward, ground rules were laid and then follow by me getting LAID…haha. We were like little bunnies then, we meet on weekends, read Friday night thru Sunday noon, we would kiss immediately when the entrance door was closed, we undress as we nudge slowly but sure to my bedroom, with pieces of clothings being dropped on the floor, we kiss more, we blow each other, then mutual, then nipples, then penetration, the WORKS!! … and it just continued the entire time we were together, whenever the other is hard .. or semi hard … or needs attention … ;-). Now why did we broke up? Oh yes, I thought he was sleeping with me exclusively, turns out, he was sleeping with others too!! Words travel you see, and I do have PLU friends.

It hurts alright, him being my first ever boyfriend. In fact, it hurts so bad, that i could not bring myself to commit in another relationship until year 2000!, which happened by chance, but that’s another story to tell altogether. So what did I do during those years of non relationship? I did what most did…ONE NIGHT STAND!! Initially I could count the number of guys I slept with, in alphabetical and sequence order, however soon, I ve lost count. Besides, who counts anyway? He he. Nope….i did not pose that QUESTION to YOU!...hehe

Look at the time!!...OK…night……..!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

It's Raining Men

No its not. Its more like a morning shower. A subordinate left us yesterday after being with the company for 7 years and she is off to become a employee with her husband running a car mechanics workshop . . . aww . . so sweet. Wished I have a bf who runs his own business and I am working for him. Well actually, it would be a good time to . . . you know . . work together, get to steal fun moments in his office, or when he is hard and needs a quickie….ahem…the possibilities are endless!!…hehehe. For the record, I ve been with this company for less than 2 years.

The weekend is here…YAHOO!! … and I have a small lunch gathering at the SS2 Chow Yang seafood noodle house!. Did I mentioned that I am a food lover? So…back to the seafood noodles, it was first introduced to me by my ex back in 2000. The place to be then was in Segambut. Back then, my ex (CK) kept saying about this delicious seafood noodle place, however we never did managed to go together. For the record, I visited the place myself with my ‘mom’ – BL, after I broke up with CK. Somehow it’s good that I did not go with him. Why? Because if I have, then imagine the trauma of being reminded of him whenever I go to this place!

Talk about traumas, do you find it difficult to go back to places which you have been to with your ex before? I mean, when you are attached to your man, the first thing you want to do is to take him to all your favorite places so that he gets to experience first hand of all the things you have done before … alone….and now…you have HIM to enjoy these things to do with. (Pray hard that he enjoys these places just as much as you did or do!!). Then one day, G forbid, the relationship ended and going back to these places which the 2 of you have been to before is just so PAINFUL!! I know because I ve been in that situation before, especially when the break up is still fresh, you just want to go to these places … sit at THAT particular table, and order THAT particular food or drink, and just pretend that he is sitting on THAT chair, you stare into empty space, you make believe and THEN….tears flow….sigh

Bottom line … NEVER take your current squeeze to ALL of your favorite places to hang out, reserve at least ONE which you can go to when …. err ….. you are single and able to go there minus any memories.

Then again, maybe its just me …….. ouch!!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Yesterday Once More

Ahh....the things about yesterday once more... but before i begin, allow me to start this blog by saying...its a lonely world that i am in right now. Being 34 and single..not by choice, being attached has always been a dream for me...alas...try as i might, he just wont appear! ... sometimes i wonder....should i just sit back, and let him look for me instead? hmm...

That said...this is what ive written on a ad site some time back... can u relate to it?

"Been around the block, in and out of relationships...yet....just when we thought that we are meant to be together...things pop up....one thing leads to the other...a seperation -period-Would like to be in a relationship again...am so into the staying together concept when in a relationship...why?..cos i like it when its 'him' to be the last thing i see before i sleep...and 'him' to be the first thing i see when i wake up.In addition...imagine all the sex we are gonna have...all the time...day or night...even at ..ahem...public and discreet places...;-)"

and this ...when i was asked what do i find most important in a relationship ...

"Definately a non open relationship...no offense but a relationship to me means...you for me and me for you...not you and me and the occassional someone else!!"

Oh yes it has attracted quite a few hearts, but alas, that was just it...a heart attraction. Meet up? yes...but ended only with just hot sex and adios!...but i dont want this...not the hot sex part, i want it alright, but cant i have a relationship with added hot sex?

Meanwhile back to m main topic .. Yesterday Once More ... somehow i felt trapped in a 'yesterday' most of the time... with music that is. I am so into old songs, songs of my era!!...yeah...from Hong Kong Jenny, Anita, Leslie, Alan and Roman ... to Bee Gees, Carpenters and any oldies one can ever imagine. Sigh. Like recently, i found a old cassette.... compiled some 15 years ago and it still works like brand new...god bless TDK cassettes. I ve been blasting those songs whenever i am driving...YES...my car still uses cassette!...songs like...Flash Dance What a Feeling and all the other canto songs like...Chan Cheng by Roman, For Foong Wong and Choong Kek by Jenny, Cheen Wong Chee Wong by Lisa and so forth. Yes...i grew up watching TVB drama series! I have nothing against the current or newer songs, but DAMN!!...most of the singers nowadays seems to have diction problems ... one cant even listen to WTF they are singing unless one is looking at the song lyrics!!

Oops....almost time for Extreme Makeover Season 3 on 8tv..YES...i am a reality show fan...popular ones like...survivor, amazing race, next top models, project runway and cat walk, biggest losers, iron chefs, queer eye, man hunt...(awww)....loved them all!!

Oh yes, being the first ever blog...i need to tell u that i am...ahem...not straight!

Till then....